Elizabeth Taylor, Brenda Della Casa

Living Your Life

I have often spoke of my fascination and respect for Ms. Taylor. I always find it funny that I will come across something related to her right at the moment I need to be reminded to of the importance of authenticity and self preservation and respect.

Say what you want about the woman, but she lived her life and did exactly what she wanted to do, and when she wanted to do it. At a few points on her timeline, she was torn apart on the front pages of newspapers across the globe and called every nasty name in the book.

Though she said it hurt her, she also stated that living a living a life that wasn’t in line with her own passions and desires would have hurt her much more.

There’s a real lesson in that, don’t you think?

How To Tell If He’s Worthy Of You

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot

Darling Girl,

A man who wants to be with you will let you know.  He’ll want to reach out.  He’ll want to take you around town on his arm.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner

He’ll reserve your Saturday night’s before someone else does. He’ll look at you and smile because he’s happy and proud that you’re with him.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Clark Gable Carole Lombard

 He won’t disrespect you or try and make you jealous because he doesn’t want to lose the opportunity to be with you.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Steve McQueen Natalie Wood

He’ll listen to you, remember the small details and make grand gestures. You won’t wonder how he feels because he’ll be clear.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot  Marilyn Monroe Arthur Miller

You won’t have knots, you’ll have butterflies.  He won’t make you wonder, he’ll just make you feel wonderful.

If he’s not doing that. He’s not the one for you.

Someone Once Told Me…

That I should have been born a boy.

That I was not worth keeping.

That I deserved to be abused.

That I would never graduate high school.

That I would never go to college.

That I would never publish anything.

That I’d never meet the president.

That I would never make it to New York.

That I was born “bad”.

That no one wanted me.

That I was ugly.

That I was too sensitive.

That I was too old-fashioned.

That I was too timid.

That I was too assertive.

That I was weird.

That I was awkward.

That I was too short.

That I had nothing interesting to say.

That I was a bad writer.

That I would never write anything meaningful.

That I was too happy.

That I deserved to be cheated on.

That I was too young.

That I was too old.

That I was too chubby.

That I was too thin.

That I was not “sexy”.

That I needed to be more conservative.

That I was too silly.

That I took myself too seriously.

That I made no sense.

That I was born with a curse.

That I was not meant to be born at all.

And for a while, I believed them.

Silly me.

People say all kinds of things, but it doesn’t make them true.

You’re worth so much to this world (and to me).

Know that you are meant to be here.

There is a place here for you.

You are irreplacable.

You are beautiful.

Close your ears to liars.

Open your heart.

Keep moving down your path.

It’s True

If you only knew the way my spirit jumped at the sight of you.  The way it made my limbs shake ever-so-slightly causing others to mistake a chemical reaction to a bad case of nerves. If there were a chance you could understand the reassurance your smile brings to me (and how beautiful you look when it flashes across your face) . If only I could tell you how I feel in a way that wouldn’t be devalued by words perhaps then you might enjoy a taste of the joy your presence brings to me.

Someone aches to say these words to you.

Open your eyes.

Sometimes…

You have to sit back and think about things and others you have to close your eyes and jump. Life is about being flexible and reactions should never be “one size fits all”.

You have to accept that people are going to do what they will do regardless of the validity of your argument.

Time begets reflection which begets understanding which begets closure.

You just want to shake the holy hell out of someone.

You have to do the opposite of what you normally do in order to enjoy a slice of happiness.

You will see yourself clearly and cringe. Take it as a sign to change and move on.

Angels speak through strangers.

Life brings about challenges that feel like setbacks (but in reality, they are just second chances).

People will judge you (but who says their judgment matters?)

You have to get up, get ready and run like hell towards your dreams.

Who You Are Is O.K.

We try to be what they want us to be, what they told us to be, what they said we should have been.

We try to look as they say we should look, act how they say we should act all the while feeling the way we feel and wondering why we don’t feel differently.

We try to want what they say we should want, even if it is more or less or simply different than what we’re truly aching to have.

What about who we really are, what we really think, what we really want and feel?

When do we get to be both authentic and accepted at the same time?

You can be here and I hope you find other places you feel respected, accepted and appreciated as well.

Your Sunshine

Keep smiling and hoping,
dreaming and laughing,
find your joy where you can…
and appreciate it.

Hold it close to your heart,
cherish the moments when you feel good,
and remember them when life gets you down.

The reasons to be unhappy will always be there
but you can choose to smile.

Choose to laugh and not take it all so seriously.

You deserve to be happy sometimes too, you know…

What are the things from which you derive your confidence?

Are you focused on what you look like?

Does every wrinkle or pound cause you to feel anxious and worried?

Are you only as good as your job?

Do the clothes or jewelry you are wearing or the bags you are carrying prove your worth?

Are you collecting Facebook or MySpace “friends” to show how “loved” you are?

Do you feel that your life has less significance without a ring on your finger or a deed in your name?

What might happen if you lost your job, your labels or actually needed to call on one of your “friends” for significant help?

How do you think your worth would withstand the hit?

Remember…

You are not your thoughts.

You are not your words.

You are not your actions.

You are something much bigger so if the thoughts, words, actions are not sending an accurate message out to the world on your behalf or if they are bringing you relationships and circumstances that make you uncomfortable, you can change them without any fear of eliminating the essence of you.

Think About It

What about you is inspiring to others?

What about you is special?

What about you is admirable?

What about you is beautiful?

What goals have you achieved?

What lessons have you learned?

What wisdom do you have to share?

What fire lives inside of you?

What is your personal power?

What makes you shine in the way that you do?

“None and Nothing” are not acceptable answers!