10 Ways To Instantly Upgrade Your Life

Feeling stuck? Here are a few ways to polish up and move forward.

Ask Yourself, “What Is My Intention?”:  Doing things just to do them is fun when we’re talking roller-coaster rides and hot showers.  For more serious interactions (personal and professional) it helps to sit down and think about what it is that you’re really trying to get out of an exchange or experience and how likely it is that you can get what you’re seeking.  You’ll not only be more selective as to how you spend your time (and who you spend it with) but more focused and thoughtful in your execution.

Dress Better: Tossing on a sweatshirt and stained jeans is OK–if you’re a hungover freshman.  The truth is this; people judge us based on our appearance, and not just a little bit.  70% of their impression is based on what we look like (20% is tone and 10% is what we say).  Translation: Press your shirt, comb your hair and wear stylish clothes that fit and cover you up appropriately.

Think Before You Speak (and Type): Though our reality TV/social media culture likes to devalue them, our words maintain a lot of power and can be used to motivate, harm or heal.  How we deliver our messages is often as important as the message itself, if not more so.  Deliver constructive criticism with a growl or excess verbiage and you might wind up hurting or offending the recipient thus leaving them too busy licking their wounds (and stewing in anger) to take in any wisdom you might have offered.  Those who delight in hearing gossip often like to repeat it, often with their own translations.  This can bring about a leading role in a drama you never meant to audition for. It’s equally important to think about how your words speak about you, your value system and character (in person, on Twitter, in text, on Facebook, etc.)

Get Knowledgeable: The more you know, the more strategic you can be.  The more strategic you are, the less time you waste and the better chance you have of success. Spend at least a half an hour a day working to learn something new.  Maybe you’re job-hunting and can use a lesson in resume building.  Perhaps you know more about celebrities than you do world leaders.  There’s a wealth of knowledge out there, go out and take your piece.

Don’t Waste Time Chasing a Loss: If you have tried and tried (and tried) again and it hasn’t worked out, let it go.  Sitting there frustrated while hoping that proverbial stock will rise will only bankrupt other areas of your life, leaving you worse off.

Get Organized:  I’m not just talking about closets here.  If your thoughts are scattered, start writing things down.  If you can’t seem to get from A to B on time, start planning out your day.  If all else fails, ask an organized pal to mentor you.

Let it Go:How many times have you gone back to something (a thought, a person, a memory) in order to gain “closure”? The next time you catch yourself looking for answers, remind yourself that bad things happen to good people, good people do bad things and life isn’t fair.  Case closed.

Have Faith That You’re Worth Pursuing: If they want to be with you, they’ll let you know.  If they are not letting you know, you’re free to flirt your booty off with those who can’t wait to court (and be courted by) you!

Get Out There: Whether it’s signing up for a cooking class, Tango lessons, meeting friends for cocktails, taking a walk in the park or volunteering, there’s plenty to do and never really an excuse to be “bored”.  The only people who get bored are boring people.

Make Comfort a Priority:  Listen to music you enjoy while getting ready for work, purchase pillows that make you want to rest your weary head, set aside time to lay on your couch and enjoy that delicious biography you’ve been aching to read.  Life is a series of experiences and moments, you might as well make yours as pleasant as you can–regardless of whether or not you’re sharing them with another person.

9 Resolutions That Will Better Your Life

Make 2012 better than any year before. You’re worth the effort.

Practice Kindness:  The idea that what we put out is reflected back to us is an old one, but that doesn’t make it less true.  This year, make a concerted effort to show compassion, respect and friendliness to those you come in contact with and you’ll likely find that your life will become softer as a result.  It’s as essential to be kind to yourself.  Instead of beating yourself up or telling yourself hurtful lies such as “I’ll never achieve this” or “I’ll always be alone,” focus on ways to accomplish your goals and give yourself room to be human.

Take It Step-By-Step: Instant gratification is something most people enjoy but the truth is that anything worth having is worth working for. Most importantly, time spent analyzing and working towards a goal helps us to better understand it and specify the way we want to experience it. It’s also essential to note that sometimes we will take a step back and that’s OK–see it as a challenge to your desire.  You either want it enough to keep moving forward or you don’t.

The key to your happiness is in your hands.

Respect Your Choices: Feeling like a victim offers a bit of comfortable discomfort; we hate feeling helpless but there’s also a tranquility to be found in blaming others.  When it’s not our fault, we can’t be held accountable and therefore cannot be judged.  The truth is that we choose the life we live on a daily basis.  Aside from extreme situations, we decide what we will meditate on, the actions we take, the abuse we will or will not put up with and so on.  We also decide as to whether or not we will seek professional help for compulsive behavior that is keeping us from achieving the goals we want to achieve and living our life as our best self.  When faced with a challenging situation, remind yourself, “I have a choice here” and think about the way you want to work through it.

Eat Well:  I like to joke that my healthy diet contains ”equal amounts of both water and wine.”  Make sure to eat plenty of fruits, veggies and lean meats (if a meat eater) this year.  Drink plenty of water and indulge without gorging.  You’ll find that you’ll feel less sluggish, have better vital signs, and yes, your pants might even become a bit loose.

Resolve Not To Campaign For Relationships:  This is a biggie.  Those who want to walk beside you will make an effort to do so.  If you want to make amends with someone, that’s one thing, but it’s devaluing and unbecoming to chase someone who isn’t showing you the care or respect you deserve.  This goes for friends, lovers and even family members.  Know your worth and expect equality when it comes to appreciation, love, respect, effort and attention.

Use a Lamp, Eat Yogurt, Drink Chamomile: Studies found that people who used lamps instead of overhead lights were able to think more creatively and yogurt has been known to lessen anxious feelings.  Chamomile tea helps relax the body and ease you into a restful mood.

Focus On Your Reputation: There will be people who judge and misjudge you, regardless of what you say or do.  The rest of them will construct their ideas about you based on the way you live your life and present that life to the world.  When you keep secrets (your own and others), do your best work, honor your word, respect your commitments, treat people with respect and carry yourself with dignity, you’ll notice that you’re given more freedom, offered more opportunities, and given the benefit of the doubt much more often.

Know Yourself: Sit down and think about the person you would like to be.  What does that person do for a living?  How does he or she spend their time?  What are their relationships like?  What does their financial situation look like?  How do they dress and speak?  What do people say about them?  What kinds of achievements does he or she have?  Now, think about who you are right now in comparison.  If you are noticing there is a gap, think about the ways you can get from point A to point B. Be creative in your thinking, while you may not be able to make yourself a millionaire over night, you can identify ways to better organize your spending.

Get Organized: Think of how much time you’ll save by making a daily “to-do” list, putting like items in one place and placing yourself on a schedule so as not to waste time. It’s not always easy but it only takes 90 days to break a bad habit and 21 days to create a new one. What’s three months of making yourself pick up your sock and put it in the hamper?

Know Your Worth:  Treat yourself like you would your most valued possession.  Protect yourself, love yourself and know that you are a unique and valuable part of this world, a treasure.  It’s true.

Which Road?

Have you enjoyed the company, scenery, experiences and climate of the road you have been walking down? Are you headed in a direction that will lead you to where you want to go? Do you have an idea as to where you are and how far it is off of your chosen path, if it is at all?