My gay boyfriends (and gay husband) are not only gorgeous, they’re hilarious. Some recent gems.
I.
Girl: “I am so upset with this guy.”
;
GB: “Girl, why?”
;
Girl: “He’s in, he’s out. He’s awesome, He’s dismissive. It’s like a bipolar romance.”
;
GB: “Yeah, no. You don’t need another hot mess.”
;
Girl: “I’m just gonna tell him I am pulling out.”
;
GB: Very serious. “Oh, girl, don’t say that. That sounds like…”
;
;
II.
Girl: “Do I look more curvy than usual?”
;
GB: “Lemme see. Damn girl, if I were a girl, I would want a body like yours.”
;
Girl: “Really?”
;
GB: “Yeah, but I am a man and I have a body like me!”
;
;
III.
;
GB: “Damn, girl! That man nearly broke his neck looking at you!”
;
Girl: “Really?”
;
GB: “Oooh, there’s another one. Damn, they don’t even think I am with you. Like, ‘Boom’ gimme that hot
Blond diva!” I want to be a girl for a day. Gay men don’t slow down and look, they yell nasty things and keep moving.”
;
IV.
;
Girl: “I am gonna kill myself today! Ugh!”
;
GB: “Oh girl, no, no. Don’t do that. We’ll go drink before you do that. Oh my God, that would never occur to me. I am much too fierce for that.”
V.
GB: “Wait, you girls get this drunk and talk this much s^%$? I’m hanging with you bitches all of the damn time.”
VI.
GB: “What in the hell is the matter with you? You are in rare form.”
Girl: “Boy problems.”
GB: “No, honey, you have shopping problems. You clearly have no mirrors in your house because if you did, you’d know you are way too hot and sexy to let any man give you any runaround. And you’re smart, so stop playing dumb.”
