Many people like to perpetuate the idea that “we are who we are” and most of us cannot change when, in reality, most people can change but choose not to. Studies have shown that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and that by forming new habits, we can create new activity and connections in our brain and override older habits that no longer work for us. What’s even more exciting is that our brain works to reinforce our ideas. We can use this to our advantage by choosing to be more understanding, positive and responsible. For example, if we tell ourselves we are capable, strong and focused, our brain will work to find “proof” of this, but beware, if we tell ourselves we are unfocused and unsuccessful, our brain will search for “proof” of that, too.
It’s essential that we take control of our mind and keep it focused.
A Little Exercise:
If you want to be more positive get a notebook and spend the next three weeks writing down every negative comment you think/utter, along with the date and time and pay attention to how often you’re sending yourself upsetting messages. Write down how often you engage in negative behaviors (gossiping, making catty comments or sabotaging yourself). You might not even realize just how often your mind “goes negative” and you’ll make an effort not to have to write in the book. The further away you get from your “start date” the less writing you’ll see on your pages and you can use this as motivation to keep going forward. Obviously, we all have moments when we need to express negative feelings but most of us could find more constructive and positive ways to handle 90% of what comes our way.
Another way to look at it:
Think of negative thoughts, words & habits as unhealthy “junk food” and positive, constructive thoughts, words & habits as healthy, wholesome nutrients that will keep your brain fit and strong. While the negative habits might “taste good”, they will destroy your brain’s health and your appearance to those around you. Who wants to be around someone who is always complaining, doesn’t take responsibility for themselves, is overly critical or needs to be constantly reassured of their value?
You are totally in control of yourself and you choose what you will-and won’t-do. You choose your words and how much credibility you will give the words of others. Taking responsibility for ourselves is the key to freedom, don’t you think?
