Walking Barefoot

The Paintings of Remigio Guadango:  I discovered his work last year and have enjoyed following him on Facebook ever since. Vibrant and sensual with distinct mediterranean undertones, his paintings maintain a simple beauty. Note: His website can be temperamental so follow him on Facebook to see his work.

Remigio Guadagno

Discovering New Cocktails:  Since Vodka and I have a complicated relationship and I haven’t quite learned how to appreciate scotch the way one should, I’ve mostly stuck to big, bold red’s and called it a good night.  Still, there’s something to be said for sexy concoctions made by enthusiastic mixologists.  Who know chipotle could make an adult beverage so tasty? Yes, I am talking about you, Smoked Opal Martini (at Beauty & Essex).

Arnica Cream: Have a bruise or a swollen anything? This stuff works.  Just use it sparingly and follow directions (check with your doctor first).

Zipping Around The EnWhySee: I’ve been here for 10 years and there’s still something new to see.  Fortunately, my friends enjoy brunching, lunching, shopping, opening, going for nice dinners and sipping cocktails as much as I do. A few favorites: Gemma, Cuba, Aria, Havana, Esperanto, Highlands, Alta, El Diablo Royale, Frank, Lombardi’s, Gramercy Tavern, Sala, Elsa, The Jane Hotel, Cafe Noir, Ideya and Lillies.

Nicaraguan Cigars: Most aficionados will agree that Padron cigars are the way to go if you’re looking for something similar to the forbidden Cuban.   I used to smoke them with a Nicaraguan in a Cuban-style cigar lounge off the beach in Puerto Vallarta every year.  Now, I don’t smoke cigarettes and some might cringe, but it’s a lovely memory.   Mine are best served with a dirty martini, good company and salty Latin music.

Tango Flamenco: I am enamored of all things Latin (as you well know) and the tango mystifies me.  Strong, seductive, with a perfect balance of masculinity and femininity, I find myself intoxicated by the dance, the music, the passion and yes, the shoes.  Though this is not traditional or typical tango, it’s a song I love to put on when I am cooking.  The artwork is nice to look at as well.

Courting Myself: In Cinderella Was a Liar, I talk about the importance of dating yourself whether or not you are in a relationship. Last week, I decided to follow my own advice and posted that I was in a “Serious relationship with Brenda Della Casa” on my Facebook page. The post resulted in dozens of “Likes” and notes thanking me for reminding friends to honor their individuality.  I’ve since posted photos of gifts I have bought myself, places I have taken myself and fun little ways I am celebrating my little space here in the world.  Corny, yes, but it’s actually brought about a nice change in my life.  Perhaps you should court you a bit, just don’t become one of those couples who stays in all of the time

Marc Anthony Mood Boosts: It’s utterly impossible to be down with this song on the stereo.

My Accountant:  Need one? Drop me a line.

A New Chapter: Thanks to a three-part story that wrapped up a couple of weeks ago, I have a much different view of myself, life, the world and those in it.  With the introspective incubation period over, I’m now being flooded with the benefits of the experience.    Though I find the behavior of the messenger questionable, I’m a much wiser, stronger and happier person as a result of knowing them and that’s all that really matters.  The universe will bring people, exchanges and experiences into our lives as a way to push us forward, it’s up to us to listen, learn and put those lessons into practice.

What are you loving now?

A little gift from me to me.

How will you spoil yourself?

With Miss Stacey.

When one is a certain age, one tends to run after life as though it is a balloon gone AWOL. Last minute plans are the meal du jour, be it what to eat, who to sleep with or what city to move to. As time passes and heart rates slow down, one realizes there is, in fact, something to be said for thinking things through and adhering to the old “quality over quantity” adage.

Contrary to the theories perpetuated by Peter-Pan types, contemplation doesn’t dissolve spontaneity, in fact, like a perfect wine and cheese pairing, it makes the out of the ordinary all the more tasty.

Agree or Disagree?

I’ve said it a dozen times but that’s because it’s true; Adam writes the sexiest little lyrics.

“But for everything that I lack, I provide something you almost have, hot flesh that you yearn to grab, pit of your stomach you’re still so .”

Extra Dirty, Please

Tony never lets me get ready on time.

1 Part Stacey

1 Part Brenna

3/4 C of Gentlemen friends

A Scoop of pre-party

A dash of Meatpacking District

Serve with a twist.

Brenda: Look at this pretty photo my friend, James Warrick, took!

Parris: Oh, wow, that’s beautiful.  Wait, you know, that’s you, Brenda.

Brenda: Smiling. It is?

Parris: Yep, just pop you into that photo in a pin-up dress and heels. That’s how you are in the world, balloons and all.

Thanks, P.

Why not reach out to a friend and share something you love about them today?

James Warrick Photography

Looks like Brad and Angelina might be onto something. A new study shows that couples who live together might be happier than those who are married.

Side Effects: Increased pulse pressure, an inability to concentrate, blurred vision, irrational behavior, vertigo,  a significant decrease in overall health and a possible attack on the heart.

Stick with your veggies.

The hit show “Four Weddings” has asked Staggered to help find the star of their next show.  Know a groom who would be a great man to profile?  Click here.

Last night, my girlfriend, Laura, and I went to Nobu for dinner and then headed to Eight Mile Creek to celebrate Australia Day (note to all single girls: there were no less than 200 good looking men there, put it on your calendars).  I wound up spending the evening talking to a witty Ryan Gosling look-alike from Manchester who schooled me in football and made me laugh with his banter in-between beers.  We touched on the topic of Astrology and he announced it was “garbage” and that women scared him by going to psychics.  “Why do they do this?” he asked.  “Well, you know when you look at internet porn?” I asked.  His eyes widened and a mischievous grin came across his face. “Yes, go on,” he said.  “Well, you do it because it’s fun, fulfills a need and you get a release from it, right?” I asked. “Women who look at that stuff get a similar thrill.  It’s fun, gives them a sense of control over their lives–hence security– and they get a little release from it, albeit a different type,” I said.

“Yes, but  porn-watching lasts three to five minutes and then we never think about it again,” he said.

“Actually, the average man spends seven minutes on the site. You know, you have to find just the right video,” I said,  He burst into laughter. “Also, how often do you go back to it? You do it more often than some women go to clairvoyants,” I said.

He stared at me with an adorable grin on his face. “I don’t care what argument you have, going to clairvoyants is far more dangerous than internet porn!” he said loudly.

The man behind me turned around, started laughing and gave him a toast.

I predict they’ll both be online soon.

Enjoy the Statue of Liberty, Nick.  Can’t wait to hear all about it

Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’

‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I just received my ticket to the AKPR Fashion show/Media event next month.  Can’t wait to mingle, sip champagne and take in the latest fashions with one of my best girlfriends.

Gotta love the EnWhySee!

You honored what you truly felt inside and followed your heart instead of your plan?

You stopped trying to be the person you thought you needed to be and allowed the real you to emerge?

You worked to make things right with those you have hurt?

You realized that self worth isn’t found in the bottom of a bottle, in the pants of another, in the big title or in the association with the big name? You earn your worth by working hard and being your best self, like everyone else.

You grew up and behaved like an adult?

You faced your fears?

You reached out and asked for help to move through whatever is holding you back?

You recognized and accepted that you were worth it?

Guy: Honey, you look good today. The hair, that outfit, those heels…

Girl: Thank you.

Guy: You know who I see you with? Mr.Big post-issues, as you say. You are at your computer, writing, and there are flowers in a vase from him. You have an event, he’s there in a tux. Dinner reservations-BOOM!-made- and all you have to do is show up. You look for him, boom, he’s there. You don’t have time to worry about him because he’s so there with you.

Girl: How do you know exactly what I want? He sounds great!

Guy: He’s coming, honey. A woman like you, don’t have any doubts, he’s coming.

Girl: You think so? I haven’t seen him around these parts.

Guy: Girl, you have probably passed him 100 times but are too busy focusing on these intimidated, foolish little boys. You need to date up, way up. So do I. We don’t even date on our level. We date down.

Girl: Oh, my God, we’re charity dating!

Guy: We are so charity dating. We are philanthropists! Wait, what the hell? Oh, hell no. This needs to stop. I’m canceling my plans tonight.

Are you following @charchats? If not, get on that, he’s hilarious.

Hilarious

I’ve just received my invitation to the opening of the new Robert Deyber exhibit and am so excited to attend (and meet the artist).

While I prefer more romantic paintings for my home, there’s something very Don Draper about his work (the only thing I like about Draper is his taste in clothes, cocktails and artwork).

Now, who will I take as my date? Decisions, decisions…

The Stag Party

Today is a new day and that means it’s a new chance to do what you never dared to do before.

Friends are gifts sent straight from the heavens.

Sometimes it is not the message but the delivery that matters most in determining the character of the messenger.

When one surrounds themselves with men and women of infallible character, infectious humor, immense wisdom, deep compassion and and the courage to tell you like it is, life is much easier (and a lot more fun).

You’re a wonderful and unique part of this universe, even if you have yet to realize it.

Some people are just too selfish to do the right thing when faced with a situation.  They want what they want in that moment without thinking about what their actions might do to someone else.  One can only hope to avoid these type of people or at least help them to learn to be less reckless and more responsible.

You decide what your purpose will be.  Your life has as much meaning as you give it.

We all live nine lives in one lifetime.

Sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves.  Listen closely to the messages of the universe.

A day without laughter is a day that has not met its full potential.

Every interaction helps to mold us into a stronger and wiser person.  It’s up to us to retain the knowledge and use it to walk up those steps to a higher level.

Today is your day.  Honestly, the universe told me so.

“I don’t care about money, I just want to be wonderful.”

2 good friends

3 stools at Felix

2 rounds of mojitos

1 round of shots

1 cheese plate

1 bartender named Marcello*

2 hours of nonstop laughing

Stir vigorously.

* Thanks, Marcello for making the Mojitos with Splenda and for being so sweet.

While I always have a good time sharing bits and pieces of my life with you here on Walking Barefoot, the purpose of the blog has always been to encourage readers (and myself) to live our best lives by being our best selves.  This is a wonderful reminder of the things we do that stand in the way of achieving that goal.

Last night, while sipping champagne at The Jimmy in Soho, I caught a glimpse of a young man dressed in his Sunday best on a Monday evening.  He sat at the bar, sipping a scotch and staring in out at the sexiest city in the world. Finally, after a long eye-pause, he glanced in my direction, smiled and raised his glass; a shot straight out of Esquire.

“How about you bring your glass over here for a refill?” he asked. How could I decline? We sat and chatted about cocktails (he knew significantly more than me), Fashion (he knew significantly more than me) and all of the reasons I should pack up and move back to Milan (our knowledge was a draw).

With blue-green eyes, mocha skin and perfect teeth, he was a sight to be seen and he made me smile so much that my cheeks hurt.  “Bella, how about we walk over to Cipriani’s for dinner?” he asked.  The offer was tempting, but our moment was perfect and I saw no reason to spoil it by spending more time together.

“Thank you, but next time,” I said.  “I see, next time.  Well, then we’ll have one more drink and toast next time.”

Happy Travels, Gio.

My girlfriend, Stacey, sent this to me this afternoon and it made me smile.  I hope it does the same for you.

“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way- The past is gone; focus on the present; have faith in life and love.  Awaken to your inner bliss.  Focus on the positive power inside you, and walk toward your dreams

With great abandon.

That you have it all right there inside of you?

Che: “OMG!”Your song is playing!

Me: “What song is that?”

Che: “You’re beautiful.”

I love my Stefan.  He always knows how to make me feel like the loveliest girl in the world. Every girl should have someone in her life who makes her feel this way.

One of my favorite pics of my Che.

Looking to binge without paying for your sins? Have Mercy!

In spite of what you have done and not done, what you have said and not said, what you have felt and not admitted to, I still see the very best in you.

This evening, I received an invitation to watch the Giants play the 49′ers at 5 Napkin Burger in Astoria.  Though I grew up in the middle of Joe Montana/Steve Young mania, the truth is I know very little about American football and sports in general.  That said, there’s never a good excuse to turn down a burger, onion rings, wine and conversation with your nearest and dearest, so I was happy to sit and annoy true football fans with my phony interest and silly questions.

But still, Go Giants! 

Oh, who am I kidding?  The only reason I am looking forward to the Super Bowl is to watch Madonna, eat spinach dip and giggle at the clever commercials.

"Where's Joe Montana?"

Who are you rooting for?

There are very few things in this world that make me angry, but the things that do –injustice, deception, disrespect, cruelty, manipulation, cowardice and being made to look foolish are among the triggers– are enough to stand my hair on-end.

When possible, I face the culprit and share my thoughts about their behavior in the most level-headed way possible (name-calling and accusations have never led me anywhere productive) but let’s face it; when you’re pissed off, you need an outlet. With the gym closed and all-cap’s texting out of the question (a pet peeve), I decided to do what any hot-blooded Italian-American girl who doesn’t want to lose her reputation does: I purchased a bottle of Coppola Claret, grabbed my phone (for cap-appropriatetexting) and ordered Godfather Iand II on Roku.

"What Have We Learned Here, Brenda?"

Now, I have always had a thing for a young Al Pacino, but Al as Michael was just about too much for me. Strong, decent, good-looking and in total control of himself and his vices, the young Don was just about everything I needed to see to restore my faith in olive-skinned, dark-haired men. Just as I was swooning over yet another fictional character, I turned on part II, a movie I had seen in passing but never really watched.

I found myself in shock at how the once young and idealistic Michael had been molded and challenged to the point of no return. With each betrayal, he became colder, less trusting and nearly obsessed with protecting himself from those who sought to use him and bring him harm (and even those who were merely suspected of doing so). Before I knew it, I wasn’t wanting to kiss Michael, I was relating to him.

I called my friend, Annie. “I finally realized why I am so mad about this situation,” I said. “Why?” She asked.

“Because I feel like it changed me. I feel like I don’t see the world the same way and no longer trust people the way I did. I won’t ever take anyone at face value again and…”

Before I could finish, I heard a deep breath followed by, “Thank God!”

“Wait, what?” I asked, startled.

“Thank God! You shouldn’t be so trusting and you should protect your big heart way more than you do. Not everyone has your idealism or your value system, Brenda, and not everyone is going to do the right thing. Most people won’t,” she said.

Though I had heard variations of this sentiment quite a bit recently, I was still stunned. This was the most idealistic and open-minded woman I knew telling me that I was basically living in la la land. No es bueno.

Now, I am sure you can tell by my recent posts that something has rocked my world and it’s really not what it seems on the surface, it’s more of what it made me see in myself. In some ways, I feel I should send the person I am disappointed in a thank you note for killing the most precious and self-destructive part of myself, the little Pollyanna piece that walked blindly into situations and showed all of her cards while carrying her heart on her sleeve. Perhaps someday when my friend has experienced more and reflected a bit, he’ll find I taught him something as well.

“So, I guess I am less mad at him and more mad at me. I’m certainly more aware. I’m still disappointed in him, though,” I said.

“That’s the worst, when you realize it is you who deserves your anger,” she said. “But you should also be disappointed in him, he’s disappointing. Just try to accept his shortcomings and see him as a dark angel since he brought with him some lovely moments and a big lesson,” she said.

She was right. It wasn’t my friend who had fooled me, it was me. By not accepting that others are not an extension of me, but beings with their own set of values, wants, needs and desires, I had allowed myself to be swept off of my feet and dropped on my head.

I realized this can best be avoided by following Michael’s advice to “Always think as those around you think.”

It doesn’t mean we have to do as they do, but it’s essential to spend some time getting to know your audience. Watch how they behave, listen to the stories they share about themselves and pay close attention to the words they whisper under their breath. It’s to our detriment to assume that everyone thinks, acts and feels like we do. Those who are too trusting will get burned and those who are too jaded will harm innocent bystanders.

That said, I’d still like to make my friend an offer he couldn’t refuse. Maybe that’s what triggered this whole sequence of events in the first place. I guess Me, myself and I need to have a sit down.

Not Speaking Up Can Kill You:  A University of Michigan study found that women who suppressed their anger had twice the risk of dying from a heart attack, stroke or cancer.  That said, it’s best to calmly share your feelings as angry outbursts raises the risk of dying by a heart attack 19% in both genders, according to a study in London. Impatience, irritability and general moodiness damage health, too.

Falling in Love Is Healthy: A University of Pavia study found that falling  helps restore the nervous system and improves memory by triggering the growth of new brain cells.

The Love Drug: When you’re falling in love, your brain releases the same amount of Dopamine as it would had you snorted cocaine!  On the contrary, a break-up can have the same effects on the brain as drug withdrawal.  Ouch.

The More Sex, The Tighter The Bond: Thanks to the release of the bonding hormone, Oxytocin,  couples who sleep together tend to stay together longer. Cuddling releases a small amount and larger amounts are produced by orgasm.

Crying Clears Hormones: Dr. William Frey compared emotional tears to those caused by onions and found that those brought about by emotions contained high levels of stress hormones.  He concluded holding back tears leaves the body prone to a number of ailments including, anxiety, a weakened immune system, impaired memory and even digestive problems.

I am so fortunate to have such wonderful, wise and honest friends.  Sometimes they say things that instinct tells me some of you can relate to and benefit from.  When that happens, I make a note to share.  Here is a recent exchange between myself and Stefan Pinto, who many of you know as my beloved little ”Che”.

Che: “I think you have reverse superficiality.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Che: “You see the beauty in others when there is none. That whole ‘glass is always full of something’ rubbish.  I agree with some semblence of it;  the glass is full of air and like most people, I call that ‘sh**”.”

Me: Wow.

Che:  “You are idealistic, and although not a crime, or a sin, you believe people want to be rescued. Come what may, ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina’ and all of that; you’re a little wounded beauty.”

Me: “You know, I adore you.”

Che: “You should.  Oops, that just slipped out.”

* Note: I do like the idea of slaying dragons and coming to people’s rescue. Perhaps that’s why I am aching to take up fencing.

I’m not so sure I’d announce this to the world.  Would you?

I’m talking, of course, about the condition, not the offer.