Walking Barefoot Content © 2005-2010 All rights reserved (Quarter Life Crisis, 2001)

 If so, what issues would be break-up worthy?  Answer here.

Did you know that people who do things they think are “fun” are twenty times more likely to consider themselves “happy” overall?  Sounds pretty obvious when we lay it out like that but how many of us constantly choose “work” over “play” and then wonder why our souls never dance and our hearts rarely laugh?

What are some things you plan to do “just for fun”?

Some Ideas:

Host a Play Date

Set aside an hour every night to read a good book, the paper or flip through magazines

Go out for coffee or cocktails with someone

Go for a long walk

Take a weekend road trip to a nearby town

Paint or create something

Go and play Bingo at a local Bingo Hall (seriously, it’s actually fun)

Invite friends over to watch a movie, play a board or video game, or just relax and catch up

Go and play darts with someone

Hit up a local comedy show

Slip into a matinee with a big box of your favorite treats

Pick up the phone and call a friend you love chatting with

Go for a bike ride

Go Dancing

Spend a day at an arcade

Check out a local band

When you do something profound, make it look effortless for it seems the world is in awe of “natural talents” but seems to pay less attention to “hard workers”. 

Agree or Disagree?

Jon Stewart VS Bill O’Reilly

I love to watch these two together, they are both so funny and clearly have a lot of respect for one another.

is hurt.

That you are a masterpiece.

It can be so easy to list the things we don’t love about ourselves but I thought it might be nice to take a few moments to sit down and focus on the things that make us the beautiful, unique and special people we are.  Everyone has flaws, but we all have gifts, too.

1. What are three things you love about yourself?

2. What makes you beautiful?

3. What are you most proud of?

4. What do you want to accomplish in your life?

5. What makes you a great friend?

6. What qualities make you a fantastic partner?

7. What brings you the most joy?

8. What joy do you bring others?

9. What are your talents?

10. What are your favorite memories?

11. What makes you laugh?

12. What are your secret wishes?

13. What are you excited about?

14. When have you showed tremendous courage?

15. What do you know you are capable of?

16. When have you showed grace under pressure?

17. What makes you truly unique?

18. What makes you an amazing mentor?

19. What are you most grateful for?

20. What would you never, ever change about yourself?

When visiting Toulouse, France, I discovered just how amazing Fois Gras is.

I love to visit new places but travelling always seems a bit of a hassle (especially since my suitcase is cursed and always gets “lost” or “delayed”).  After  a flight attendant told urged me to bring a carry-on and confessed that ”no one who works for the airlines would ever check their bag,” I decided to heed her advice.  I purchased this cheap and convenient travel pack for $3.99 and have travelled with ease (and less fees) ever since.

Anything with White Truffles– be it fries or macaroni and cheese, this delicacy makes everything taste much, much better.

I was never into wearing false lashes (though most of my girlfriends swear by them) but when Revlon sent me these Fantasy Lengths to try, I decided to wear them out on the town.  The result was so lovely that I am now hooked.  If you want your eyes to “pop” in photos and sport an all-around more glamorous look, give them a go. One tip:  The self-adhesive didn’t work as well as the ones with the glue.

Have you guys signed up for www.Groupon.com or www.Allmenus.com?  They offer daily discounts on local restaurants, clubs and events.  Definitely worth a try.

Late night cookie deliveries sound a bit silly but I was hooked after the first delivery (and it’s so fun to randomly send friends a box when you know they are up).  These are really good and delivered warm.

Fat-free foods usually taste funny (especially baked goods) but these brownies are amazing and have zero fat. Guiltless chocolate!

Are you someone who would enjoy an inspirational message from the Universe every morning?   Sign up here.

Music always lifts/calms my mood and www.Pandora.com is my favorite music site because I can create my own station (with very few commercials).  If you want to listen to Coldplay, Flamenco and Velvet Revolver all on one station just put it in.  You decide.

It’s very easy to be critical and negative, but why not try to meet every situation and statement with a positive word or gesture for the next 72 hours.  Can you do it? I’ll try, too.

Often times, the only way to get your point  across clearly is to sit down and clearly make your point.  There are some people for whom gentle urging and hints simply do not work.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”

Not too long ago, while in the company of a dear friend, I came across an article about the importance of accepting personal responsibility for ones happiness and eagerly shared the piece with her.  I had read about 1/3 of the article when suddenly my friend, (who is usually very open to these kinds of pieces)  interrupted me. 

“This article is terrible.  I don’t want to hear any more of it,” she said.

“Well, what don’t you like about it,” I asked.

“It’s just awful,” she responded.

“But what about it is awful?” I pressed.

“Just the whole thing is terrible,” she said.

Normally, I would not have pushed.  I would have stopped reading and moved on but I had an ulterior motive in sharing this piece with my friend, a person I love very much, but someone who has a heck of a time accepting responsibility for things that happen to her.  If she hurts your feelings, you’re too sensitive or you flat-out misheard her.  If she doesn’t get a position, someone is against her.  If she does something she gets angry at you for, there’s a better reason for it and she deserves to be forgiven.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many good qualities held by my friend and she’s not always impossible but there is a definite issue with blame-shifting.  Her reaction to the article was  very strong, and having had responses of my own in the past, I felt that it was the message, not the article, that seemed “terrible” to her. 

 I confessed that I thought she might gain something from reading it in that we all have our own issues with accepting that we are in control of ourselves and our lives. She respected this as she is someone who has no issue with letting me know when I need to work on something (and I love her for it).

We spoke a few minutes about the initial terror that often comes when we recognize that we yield that kind of power can be terrifying but also liberating.  After a few sentences, my friend seemed very closed to the idea of discussing it any further and I dropped it but continued to think of the ways in which I had discarded responsibility in my own life.  A few days later, my friend came to me and confessed that the article hit home and she felt embarassed and ashamed (something I think we can all relate to) and that she wanted to work on this issue.  “What a big step,” I thought.  How many times have we just thrown our issues back into the closet and told ourselves we would “deal with them later.”  My friend was an inspiration!

How comfortable are you with the idea that you choose how to live your life, manage your relationships and react to hardships and disappointments?

How open to change are you?

How do you deal with the “teflon” people in your life who won’t allow anything to stick to them?

She looks stunning!

There are two kinds of consumers in the world; those who purchase a high quantity of cheaply-made products they can count on for a short time and those who save up and splurge on a small quantity of well-made items that will bring them pleasure for years-even decades-to come.

As someone who used to fall under the cheap-chic category, I can tell you that poorly made products, while often adorable and seemingly “a bargain” upon purchase, usually wind up causing some kind of pain or embarrassment and last 1/10 as long as their higher-quality cousins.  Yes, you’re often paying a lot more for that perfectly-tailored black wool coat but it will stand up for you winter-after-winter in ways that cheap-but sexy-little blend couldn’t.

Well-made products go beyond the aesthetics and are solid, sturdy and reliable in places no one can see.  The seams, the zippers, even the lined interior stand up to wear and tear and won’t collapse at the first sign of trouble.

The best friends and lovers are the same.  They are the ones who are made up of beautiful qualities and built with a strong moral fiber.  They don’t just “seem” worthwhile, they are worthwhile. 

You can count on them to make you look good and to stand up through the test of time, and really, that’s worth saving up for.

That you are worth so much more than you can imagine.

That you know what is best for you.

That you can achieve your dreams.

That no one can replace you.

That you matter.

That you are beautiful in a very special and precious way.

That what others think of you does not define you.

That you can change your mindset, your reality and your life.

That you deserve to make some time for yourself.

That there is less in your way than you think.

It’s true.

I believe in you.

There is a reason you are here on this Earth and a reason you are in the lives of the people who surround you.  Just as you get, you give.

But what is it that you’re giving, exactly?

What do you want to hand over?  Love? Understanding? Wisdom? A helping hand?

The beauty of free will is that you are totally in control of your destiny and your life.  You choose what your purpose will be.  You are the one who creates meaning in your life.

There are people we have known who have brought love, light, wisdom and joy into our days, and even if these friendships have run their course, and we are friends no more, there is still reason to be joyful and thankful for those we have known.

A relationship ending, or even ending badly, doesn’t mean it  was a waste or loses its meaning.

You don’t have to stick around in a bad relationship or situation to prove you are a good, kind, forgiving, loving or resilient person.  You owe it to yourself to keep yourself safe- emotionally and otherwise.  If you cannot detach immediately, make a plan of action to get out as soon as possible and come up with ways to protect yourself while you arrange to leave.

We’ve all faced some tough situations and had to deal with the doom-and-gloom thoughts that seem to come along with stressful circumstances.  Faith seems like a child’s game and suddenly the only thing we can think about is that everything is going to fall apart.

We brace ourselves, pace the floors, lose sleep, cry, freak out, call friends and stress ourselves into a panic attack just waiting for the sky to fall.

But then it doesn’t and we realize that we have wasted hours, days, even weeks, in a state of panic and confusion.

Work as hard as you can to keep things constructive, and yes, have a little faith.

Are you guilty?

Many people like to perpetuate the idea that “we are who we are” and most of us cannot change when, in reality, most people can change but choose not to.  Studies have shown that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and that by forming new habits, we can create new activity and connections in our brain and override older habits that no longer work for us.  What’s even more exciting is that our brain works to reinforce our ideas.  We can use this to our advantage by choosing to be more understanding, positive and responsible.  For example, if we tell ourselves we are capable, strong and focused, our brain will work to find “proof” of this, but beware, if we tell ourselves we are unfocused and unsuccessful, our brain will search for “proof” of that, too. 

It’s essential that we take control of our mind and keep it focused. 

A Little Exercise:

 If you want to be more positive get a notebook and spend the next three weeks writing down every negative comment you think/utter, along with the date and time and pay attention to how often you’re sending yourself upsetting messages.  Write down how often you engage in negative behaviors (gossiping, making catty comments or sabotaging yourself).  You might not even realize just how often your mind “goes negative” and you’ll make an effort not to have to write in the book.  The further away you get from your “start date” the less writing you’ll see on your pages and you can use this as motivation to keep going forward.  Obviously, we all have moments when we need to express negative feelings but most of us could find more constructive and positive ways to handle 90% of what comes our way.

Another way to look at it:

Think of negative thoughts, words & habits as unhealthy “junk food” and positive, constructive thoughts, words & habits as healthy, wholesome nutrients that will keep your brain fit and strong.  While the negative habits might “taste good”, they will destroy your brain’s health and your appearance to those around you.  Who wants to be around someone who is always complaining, doesn’t take responsibility for themselves, is overly critical or needs to be constantly reassured of their value?

You are totally in control of yourself and you choose what you will-and won’t-do.  You choose your words and how much credibility you will give the words of others.  Taking responsibility for ourselves is the key to freedom, don’t you think?

What is being said to you isn’t just white noise, when someone speaks up, there’s often a desire to share something with you, a need to be heard–even if what they say seems trivial.

What are the people in your life trying to tell you?

If you have ever felt bad for holding a grudge against someone, read this article.

“Too much sun will wilt a rose, too much rain will drown its petals. The only way to blossom is to live in balance.”

“Without trust, there can be no foundation and no future in any relationship, platonic, professional or romantic. You can’t wish trust awake.”

“Qui est votre ami et qui veut quelque chose de vous ?”

Follow me on Twitter (if you’d like) @BrendaDellaCasa

The Scientist by Coldplay

Porcelain by Moby

Vida diaria by Cafe del Mar

Whispering Wind by Moby

These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding

Check out who has been nominated for an Oscar this year.

Who do you think should go home with a gold statue?  I was just saying last night that it was time for Maggie Gyllenhaal to win an Oscar–she’s such a joy to watch on screen because she’s so talented!

What if everything you know to be true about yourself is false?

This will break your heart. Truly unfair and sad.

Too much downtime can be a downer.  Here are a few ways to fill some empty spaces in your schedule.

Set some Goals:  Take out a pen and paper and write down a few things you would  like to achieve in the coming months/year.  Just writing things down can be a powerful motivation to get up and do something instead of sitting there and dreaming.

Send a little Love: Pull out a few notecards and write friends/loved ones a little note to let them know how much you appreciate them.

Give it Away Now: Go through your house with a plastic bag and fill it up with things you love but never use.  Donate the bag to a friend or a charity.

Start a Blog about Something You Love: Why not?

Re-arrange Something: Log onto several design sights and get inspired!  Re-decorate your pad by shifting things around or grab a can of paint and change the color of a wall.

Go to the Gym: Even if you don’t do a big workout, just going and moving your body (while being around other people and listening to some good music in your ipod) will lift your spirits.

Do an At-Home Spa Treatment: Give your body a good polish (I love to use brown sugar and olive oil) and do a hot oil treatment on your hair (I melt unsalted butter and put it on my wet locks and let it sit for 20 minutes, wash and condition it and it’s so soft!)  Just be careful when warming the butter and never put it in your hair when super hot (you should be able to put your finger in it and it not burn).

Play a “get to know you with 20 questions” game with Someone.

Go over your finances: When you’re in control of your life, you feel amazing!

Cook/Bake Something Special: Then, invite someone over to taste it or bring it to your neighbor or door person.

Watch TV shows on www.hulu.com

Letting Go.

I was so excited to speak with the founding editor of Me: In Focus Magazine about love, sex and romance.  If you’re interested in hearing what I had to say, click here and check the interview out on “page 2″.