I’ve noticed quite a few readers have been looking for the “It’s Not You, It’s Him” post I wrote last March. As a side note, the woman who inspired the piece is now engaged to the man who freaked out and ran off.
A little gift from me to me.
How will you spoil yourself?
When one is a certain age, one tends to run after life as though it is a balloon gone AWOL. Last minute plans are the meal du jour, be it what to eat, who to sleep with or what city to move to. As time passes and heart rates slow down, one realizes there is, in fact, something to be said for thinking things through and adhering to the old “quality over quantity” adage.
Contrary to the theories perpetuated by Peter-Pan types, contemplation doesn’t dissolve spontaneity, in fact, like a perfect wine and cheese pairing, it makes the out of the ordinary all the more tasty.
Agree or Disagree?
Jill Brown is one of the most vivacious and established writers in the business. We met when she reached out to interview me for Duchess Digest and I’m glad to say that we’ve since become friends.
Interested in hearing me talk about Cinderella Was a Liar, Dating and Loving yourself? Click here.
I’ve said it a dozen times but that’s because it’s true; Adam writes the sexiest little lyrics.
“But for everything that I lack, I provide something you almost have, hot flesh that you yearn to grab, pit of your stomach you’re still so .”
Go and see the new Infinite Jest Exhibit at The Met.
Listen to Libertango.
Grab a few friends and head out for a boozy brunch.
Check out the new Esquire with Clinton on the cover and read about the new laws of scotch.
Listen to Mar Desconocido by Pink Martini (awesome Pandora Station, btw).
Watch “Midnight in Paris” or “Viki Cristina Barcelona” this weekend.
Recognize that anyone worth having in your life won’t leave without a fight.
Make a decision to get healthy and follow through.
Clean up that mess, paint that wall, put up those pics and make your house a home.
Start taking vitamin B12, a Multi, Tonalin CLA and Fish Oil (check with your doctor first).
Bestow a beso.
Do the best you can, step away and then come back and do better.
Become a master mixologist.
Sign up for a Tango class.
Let it go.
Pick up the phone and give them a call already!
Extra Dirty, Please
Tony never lets me get ready on time.
1 Part Stacey
1 Part Brenna
3/4 C of Gentlemen friends
A Scoop of pre-party
A dash of Meatpacking District
Serve with a twist.
Brenda: Look at this pretty photo my friend, James Warrick, took!
Parris: Oh, wow, that’s beautiful. Wait, you know, that’s you, Brenda.
Brenda: Smiling. It is?
Parris: Yep, just pop you into that photo in a pin-up dress and heels. That’s how you are in the world, balloons and all.
Why not reach out to a friend and share something you love about them today?
James Warrick Photography
Looks like Brad and Angelina might be onto something. A new study shows that couples who live together might be happier than those who are married.
Side Effects: Increased pulse pressure, an inability to concentrate, blurred vision, irrational behavior, vertigo, a significant decrease in overall health and a possible attack on the heart.
Stick with your veggies.
Waste Your Time With Jealousy: It’s a useless emotion that disintegrates everything it touches. Know that there is enough to go around and one having does not mean the other will have not. If you’re with someone who is trustworthy, trust them. If you’re not, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
Stay In and Cry Over Someone Who Isn’t Crying Over You: We only have so many days and nights in our lives and while you might not want to go out or spend time with friends, it’s the best way to move on and create some fun new memories (and possibly meet someone who won’t bring tears to your eyes).
Forget That We’re All Human Beings: We’re all flawed and have a wide range of talents, insecurities, worries, desires, fears, needs and wants. Some of us just hide our vulnerabilities better than others. When engaging others, try and remember that we’re all spirits in shells trying to do the best we can while here on earth. Be gentle.
Toy With Other People’s Emotions: You’re either in or out, and if you can’t decide, it’s best to stay out.
Allow Fear To Hold You Back: Think of fear as a bully. If you stay silent and allow it to torment you, you’ll be pegged a victim and be pushed around on a daily basis. Stand up to it and punch it square in the face and there’s a good chance you’ll recognize your own strength and send a message to the universe that you’re a fighter who will not allow challenges to keep you from living your best life and being your best self.
Get Stuck in a Moment: You’re going to make mistakes and take wrong turns, and that’s a good thing. How else will you ever grow and learn? Take inventory, make amends, commit to do the better next time and keep moving forward (and up).
Assume You (Or They) Can Read Minds: The only way to avoid miscommunication is to sit with someone and have an honest and open dialogue. It may get messy but there is a good chance it will bring clarity in a way emails, silence or text messages never can.
Put Yourself Down: If you cannot support and respect yourself how in the world can you expect anyone else to?
Take Love/Friendship For Granted: As we grow older, their value becomes clearer. In this life, the bonds with one another are all we have. They are what make life beautiful, meaningful and real. When appreciated, these bonds will not only infuse your own life with joy but help the lives of others blossom. Your legacy lies in how you treat those around you.
Give Up On Yourself: Even if you have hit rock bottom, you can always start climbing back up. Your success is up to you.
The hit show “Four Weddings” has asked Staggered to help find the star of their next show. Know a groom who would be a great man to profile? Click here.
Last night, my girlfriend, Laura, and I went to Nobu for dinner and then headed to Eight Mile Creek to celebrate Australia Day (note to all single girls: there were no less than 200 good looking men there, put it on your calendars). I wound up spending the evening talking to a witty Ryan Gosling look-alike from Manchester who schooled me in football and made me laugh with his banter in-between beers. We touched on the topic of Astrology and he announced it was “garbage” and that women scared him by going to psychics. “Why do they do this?” he asked. “Well, you know when you look at internet porn?” I asked. His eyes widened and a mischievous grin came across his face. “Yes, go on,” he said. “Well, you do it because it’s fun, fulfills a need and you get a release from it, right?” I asked. “Women who look at that stuff get a similar thrill. It’s fun, gives them a sense of control over their lives–hence security– and they get a little release from it, albeit a different type,” I said.
“Yes, but porn-watching lasts three to five minutes and then we never think about it again,” he said.
“Actually, the average man spends seven minutes on the site. You know, you have to find just the right video,” I said, He burst into laughter. “Also, how often do you go back to it? You do it more often than some women go to clairvoyants,” I said.
He stared at me with an adorable grin on his face. “I don’t care what argument you have, going to clairvoyants is far more dangerous than internet porn!” he said loudly.
The man behind me turned around, started laughing and gave him a toast.
I predict they’ll both be online soon.
Enjoy the Statue of Liberty, Nick. Can’t wait to hear all about it 
I was in college the first time I got a glimpse of Ricky in “Livin’ La Vida Loca” and by second two my jaw was on the floor. Years later, Senor Martin still has the same effect (it took me an hour to pick three photos for this post, there were way too many to choose from!) Talented, philanthropic, kind and utterly perfect physically, Ricky stands out even in swoon land. I can’t wait to see him as Che in Evita this April!
Sigh.
Swoon.
Faint.
Oh, who am I kidding? Have at it!
Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’
‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
I just received my ticket to the AKPR Fashion show/Media event next month. Can’t wait to mingle, sip champagne and take in the latest fashions with one of my best girlfriends.
Gotta love the EnWhySee!
Last night, while in the west village, I popped into the local bookstore and found myself in a conversation with an astrologer (love the EnWhySee). We spoke about my sign (super fun, especially since Aries boys and girls are “me, me, me” types) and I wound up buying a book titled “Darkside Zodiac” which details all of the not-so-lovely things about each sign.
By page three, I was laughing so hard on the train that a nearby passenger asked me to read his for him. Read a few excerpts here.
You know how I love him. Who can blame me? Those big brown eyes, mocha skin, a voice like velvet, romantic lyrics. Perfection!
Might be the sexiest performance ever. Sigh.
One of my favorite Enrique songs. The photos don’t hurt my eyes, either
Kryptonite.
Sweet and Salty at the same time.
When you really look at it, it all comes down to decision-making. Who do you want to be in the world? What kind of legacy do you want to leave?
Do you want to be someone’s regret or their greatest treasure?
Do you want to be seen as someone who cuts corners or someone who can be counted on to do a thorough job?
Do you want to be seen as someone who makes the most of opportunities or sits and complains about how unfair life is?
Do you want to be a victim or a warrior?
Aside from acts of God and major health issues, your life is completely under your control. You determine how much you will accept and how you will allow it to impact you. This isn’t always easy to hear or accept but that doesn’t make it any less true.
Define yourself.
Define your life.
Go get em’!
You honored what you truly felt inside and followed your heart instead of your plan?
You stopped trying to be the person you thought you needed to be and allowed the real you to emerge?
You worked to make things right with those you have hurt?
You realized that self worth isn’t found in the bottom of a bottle, in the pants of another, in the big title or in the association with the big name? You earn your worth by working hard and being your best self, like everyone else.
You grew up and behaved like an adult?
You faced your fears?
You reached out and asked for help to move through whatever is holding you back?
You recognized and accepted that you were worth it?
Drop a Bombshell
Guy: Honey, you look good today. The hair, that outfit, those heels…
Girl: Thank you.
Guy: You know who I see you with? Mr.Big post-issues, as you say. You are at your computer, writing, and there are flowers in a vase from him. You have an event, he’s there in a tux. Dinner reservations-BOOM!-made- and all you have to do is show up. You look for him, boom, he’s there. You don’t have time to worry about him because he’s so there with you.
Girl: How do you know exactly what I want? He sounds great!
Guy: He’s coming, honey. A woman like you, don’t have any doubts, he’s coming.
Girl: You think so? I haven’t seen him around these parts.
Guy: Girl, you have probably passed him 100 times but are too busy focusing on these intimidated, foolish little boys. You need to date up, way up. So do I. We don’t even date on our level. We date down.
Girl: Oh, my God, we’re charity dating!
Guy: We are so charity dating. We are philanthropists! Wait, what the hell? Oh, hell no. This needs to stop. I’m canceling my plans tonight.
Are you following @charchats? If not, get on that, he’s hilarious.
Hilarious
I’ve just received my invitation to the opening of the new Robert Deyber exhibit and am so excited to attend (and meet the artist).
While I prefer more romantic paintings for my home, there’s something very Don Draper about his work (the only thing I like about Draper is his taste in clothes, cocktails and artwork).
Now, who will I take as my date? Decisions, decisions…
The Stag Party
Today is a new day and that means it’s a new chance to do what you never dared to do before.
Friends are gifts sent straight from the heavens.
Sometimes it is not the message but the delivery that matters most in determining the character of the messenger.
When one surrounds themselves with men and women of infallible character, infectious humor, immense wisdom, deep compassion and and the courage to tell you like it is, life is much easier (and a lot more fun).
You’re a wonderful and unique part of this universe, even if you have yet to realize it.
Some people are just too selfish to do the right thing when faced with a situation. They want what they want in that moment without thinking about what their actions might do to someone else. One can only hope to avoid these type of people or at least help them to learn to be less reckless and more responsible.
You decide what your purpose will be. Your life has as much meaning as you give it.
We all live nine lives in one lifetime.
Sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves. Listen closely to the messages of the universe.
A day without laughter is a day that has not met its full potential.
Every interaction helps to mold us into a stronger and wiser person. It’s up to us to retain the knowledge and use it to walk up those steps to a higher level.
Today is your day. Honestly, the universe told me so.
“I’ve heard it all before…”
“I don’t care about money, I just want to be wonderful.”
2 good friends
3 stools at Felix
2 rounds of mojitos
1 round of shots
1 cheese plate
1 bartender named Marcello*
2 hours of nonstop laughing
Stir vigorously.
* Thanks, Marcello for making the Mojitos with Splenda and for being so sweet.
In the past week, not one but three of the gals in my crew have fallen victim to the lies and games of men up to no good. The consensus: these bad boys didn’t have such good game, they just took advantage of good girls with big hearts.
Here are a few signs to keep your own heart (and other body parts) safe.
He Calls You “Babe”, “Baby”, “Sweetheart” or “Beautiful”: Pet names are given to create a false sense of intimacy, and hey, it’s easier to remember than, oh, say, your name.
He’s Inconsistent: One minute he’s all about you and the next, well, he doesn’t want to waste your time/deal with long-distance/get serious. Funny, he had no problem with these things before he got what he wanted. When you get mad and blow him off, he’ll wait for you to cool off and pop up again because he “just realized” that all he wants is you. Yawn.
He’s Online: If he’s constantly checking his Match.com account, he’s not “just looking”, he’s looking for someone to take out tomorrow.
He’s Shady: Perhaps you give him a compliment and hear him repeat it to another woman right in front of you (true story). Maybe he hides his phone or excuses himself to go to the bathroom when a text comes in. He might rush you out of a bar without explanation. Whatever it is, pay attention to your shady meter and don’t argue with intuition.
He has a Reputation: You might be the most incredible woman on the planet but don’t go into a situation with a game-player expecting to be the game-changer.
You Catch Him in a Lie: How can you love– or even like– someone you cannot trust?
His Friends Are Dismissive or Overly Friendly: They’re either tired of putting in the effort for women they won’t see again or they are trying to help him bed you. Being friendly is one thing but bonds take time to build.
You Don’t Meet His Friends (and He Doesn’t Want To Meet Yours): Not a red flag, a red fire truck as my friend, Landon, says.
He Goes M.I.A: Men who are interested and serious about you are not going to leave you alone to meet someone new.
He Says He Doesn’t Care If You Date Other People: Translation: I want to add you to my bed rotation.
He Asks To Split The Check: Men shouldn’t always have to pay for everything but most do in the beginning of a courtship.
He Flatters You To Death: He loves your clothes, your smile, your wit, your home, your eyes, your laugh. In fact, you’re just perfect in every way. Funny, he knows nothing about you. The point is to keep you so contented that you don’t notice any of the red flags your good sense is trying to point out.
He Has a “Goodie” Drawer: Extra toothbrushes? Check. Lube? Check. An enormous half-empty box of condoms? Oh, boy.
He Comes At You From The Other Side: Has he aleady played with your emotions once? If he comes back and says everything you wanted to hear back then, it might just be a new con. See if he’s saying the same stuff a few weeks later. There’s a good chance he’ll run out of steam if he’s full of you-know-what.
His Friends Are Douchy: Birds of a feather, lovely.
All of His Friend’s Girlfriend’s Hate Him: Is he always complaining that his friend’s girlfriend’s don’t like him? There’s likely a reason.
He Won’t Make Future Plans: Getting him to commit to anything that’s beyond 72 hours away will give him hives.
He Talks Out of Both Sides of His Mouth: Maybe things are going great, he’s talking about taking you to weddings or talking you up to cloud nine when suddenly he slips in that you’re not compatible or tells your pet he will be “gone soon” (true story). Best case scenario: he’s confused. Worst Case: He’s trying to say just enough to keep you hopeful but wants to feel OK when he disappears. Either way, you’re going to get hurt.
He Talks About Hurting Other Women: If he says he’s always failed women or has never met someone worthy of being monogamous with, run! See the Game-changer rule above.
While I always have a good time sharing bits and pieces of my life with you here on Walking Barefoot, the purpose of the blog has always been to encourage readers (and myself) to live our best lives by being our best selves. This is a wonderful reminder of the things we do that stand in the way of achieving that goal.
Last night, while sipping champagne at The Jimmy in Soho, I caught a glimpse of a young man dressed in his Sunday best on a Monday evening. He sat at the bar, sipping a scotch and staring in out at the sexiest city in the world. Finally, after a long eye-pause, he glanced in my direction, smiled and raised his glass; a shot straight out of Esquire.
“How about you bring your glass over here for a refill?” he asked. How could I decline? We sat and chatted about cocktails (he knew significantly more than me), Fashion (he knew significantly more than me) and all of the reasons I should pack up and move back to Milan (our knowledge was a draw).
With blue-green eyes, mocha skin and perfect teeth, he was a sight to be seen and he made me smile so much that my cheeks hurt. “Bella, how about we walk over to Cipriani’s for dinner?” he asked. The offer was tempting, but our moment was perfect and I saw no reason to spoil it by spending more time together.
“Thank you, but next time,” I said. “I see, next time. Well, then we’ll have one more drink and toast next time.”
Happy Travels, Gio.
My girlfriend, Stacey, sent this to me this afternoon and it made me smile. I hope it does the same for you.
“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way- The past is gone; focus on the present; have faith in life and love. Awaken to your inner bliss. Focus on the positive power inside you, and walk toward your dreams
When a dozen women text and talk about men.
I.
Girl 1: I cannot believe what a jerk he turned out to be!
Girl 2: Girl, after all of those signs you should have known he was going to treat you like a Jodeci video.
II.
Girl 1: Do you think I should go out with him again?
Girl 2: Do you like him?
Girl 1: Not really but I think he could be good for me.
Girl 2: Um, we’re talking men here, not vitamins, you do realize that, right?
III.
Girl: Honey, you had to have know that nothing he ever said was true, that dude was stylin’
Girl 2: What is that? Fashionable?
Girl 1: Oh God, there’s no hope for you. It means he’s a douchebag.
Guy 1: Who is a douchebag?
Girl 1: The neighborhood herb who ran a messed up game on our girl, here.
Girl 2: Frowns.
Guy1: What did he do?
Girl 1: Explains.
Guy 1: Oh, man. This dude has watched too much Bill Bellamy. Sweetheart, you need to laugh at that hot mess and tuck it into your dirty secret box. You can’t be falling for penny hustlers; this ain’t no J.Lo video!
IV
Girl 1: You are absolutely not allowed to ever speak to him again. He’s a mess!
Girl 2: I know, I know. He’s terrible, but I will miss the way he did that choking thing.
Girl 1: There is a much nicer guy out there who is just waiting to choke you, have faith. I just know you’ll find a nice man to choke the hell out of you.
V.
Girl 1: What are you doing tonight?
Girl 2: Eating my emotions.
Girl 1: Oh, hell no. You could not get fat for him and you damn well will not get fat because of him.
Girl 2: You’re right…backing away from the Baked Scoops.
VI.
Girl 1: I need a girl’s trip. Miami?
Girl 2: I’m heading to Vegas to meet an Australian in April.
Girl 1: I’m going with you.
Girl 2: OK, I need company. I don’t know how I will handle the club scene out there.
Girl 1: I’ll handle that.
Girl 2: It sounds like you’re going to roofie me.
Girl 1: Are you gorgeous and male?
Girl 2: No…
Girl 1: Then you’re totally safe.
VII.
Girl 1: Knock, Knock.
Girl: 2: Who’s there?
Girl 1: Not Steve.
Girl 2: You’re mean!
VIII.
Girl 1: I am going back to his place, what should I do?
Girl 2: Follow your heart. Do what feels right and be safe.
Girl 1: Huh?
Girl 2: Deciding whether to sleep with him, right?
Girl 1: Oh God, no! I have hit that! I just wondered what move to do tonight!
VIII.
Girl 1: You’re on a three-month Latin man detox.
Girl 2: OK, no men for three months, got it.
IX.
Girl 1: I love your cute striped dress with those adorable black stockings!
Girl 2: Thanks, the guy picked them out right before he played me.
Girl 1: Well, that was nice. At least you got something out of your time together.
Girl 2: And what might that be?
Girl 1: You accessorize better. You’ll have a new man in no time dressing like this!
X.
Girl 1: Oh no, I just saw him on Wall Street.
Girl 2: Why are you down on Wall Street?
Girl 1: To ‘accidentally’ bump into him, of course!
Girl 2: Get your butt onto the train and delete this message. This is how Lifetime movies are started, crazy!
XI.
Girl 1: He was my type and he was my type.
Girl 2: Maybe you need a new type.
Girl 1: I’ve tried, I can’t do it.
Girl 2: I know, me too. I’m only attracted to A-holes.
XII.
Girl 1: What have we learned?
Girl 2: Every girl is “beautiful” and every girl gets winky smiles.
Girl 1: Class dismissed.
Che: “OMG!”Your song is playing!
Me: “What song is that?”
Che: “You’re beautiful.”
I love my Stefan. He always knows how to make me feel like the loveliest girl in the world. Every girl should have someone in her life who makes her feel this way.
One of my favorite pics of my Che.
Looking to binge without paying for your sins? Have Mercy!
In spite of what you have done and not done, what you have said and not said, what you have felt and not admitted to, I still see the very best in you.
This evening, I received an invitation to watch the Giants play the 49′ers at 5 Napkin Burger in Astoria. Though I grew up in the middle of Joe Montana/Steve Young mania, the truth is I know very little about American football and sports in general. That said, there’s never a good excuse to turn down a burger, onion rings, wine and conversation with your nearest and dearest, so I was happy to sit and annoy true football fans with my phony interest and silly questions.
Oh, who am I kidding? The only reason I am looking forward to the Super Bowl is to watch Madonna, eat spinach dip and giggle at the clever commercials.
"Where's Joe Montana?"
There are very few things in this world that make me angry, but the things that do –injustice, deception, disrespect, cruelty, manipulation, cowardice and being made to look foolish are among the triggers– are enough to stand my hair on-end.
When possible, I face the culprit and share my thoughts about their behavior in the most level-headed way possible (name-calling and accusations have never led me anywhere productive) but let’s face it; when you’re pissed off, you need an outlet. With the gym closed and all-cap’s texting out of the question (a pet peeve), I decided to do what any hot-blooded Italian-American girl who doesn’t want to lose her reputation does: I purchased a bottle of Coppola Claret, grabbed my phone (for cap-appropriatetexting) and ordered Godfather Iand II on Roku.
"What Have We Learned Here, Brenda?"
Now, I have always had a thing for a young Al Pacino, but Al as Michael was just about too much for me. Strong, decent, good-looking and in total control of himself and his vices, the young Don was just about everything I needed to see to restore my faith in olive-skinned, dark-haired men. Just as I was swooning over yet another fictional character, I turned on part II, a movie I had seen in passing but never really watched.
I found myself in shock at how the once young and idealistic Michael had been molded and challenged to the point of no return. With each betrayal, he became colder, less trusting and nearly obsessed with protecting himself from those who sought to use him and bring him harm (and even those who were merely suspected of doing so). Before I knew it, I wasn’t wanting to kiss Michael, I was relating to him.
I called my friend, Annie. “I finally realized why I am so mad about this situation,” I said. “Why?” She asked.
“Because I feel like it changed me. I feel like I don’t see the world the same way and no longer trust people the way I did. I won’t ever take anyone at face value again and…”
Before I could finish, I heard a deep breath followed by, “Thank God!”
“Wait, what?” I asked, startled.
“Thank God! You shouldn’t be so trusting and you should protect your big heart way more than you do. Not everyone has your idealism or your value system, Brenda, and not everyone is going to do the right thing. Most people won’t,” she said.
Though I had heard variations of this sentiment quite a bit recently, I was still stunned. This was the most idealistic and open-minded woman I knew telling me that I was basically living in la la land. No es bueno.
Now, I am sure you can tell by my recent posts that something has rocked my world and it’s really not what it seems on the surface, it’s more of what it made me see in myself. In some ways, I feel I should send the person I am disappointed in a thank you note for killing the most precious and self-destructive part of myself, the little Pollyanna piece that walked blindly into situations and showed all of her cards while carrying her heart on her sleeve. Perhaps someday when my friend has experienced more and reflected a bit, he’ll find I taught him something as well.
“So, I guess I am less mad at him and more mad at me. I’m certainly more aware. I’m still disappointed in him, though,” I said.
“That’s the worst, when you realize it is you who deserves your anger,” she said. “But you should also be disappointed in him, he’s disappointing. Just try to accept his shortcomings and see him as a dark angel since he brought with him some lovely moments and a big lesson,” she said.
She was right. It wasn’t my friend who had fooled me, it was me. By not accepting that others are not an extension of me, but beings with their own set of values, wants, needs and desires, I had allowed myself to be swept off of my feet and dropped on my head.
I realized this can best be avoided by following Michael’s advice to “Always think as those around you think.”
It doesn’t mean we have to do as they do, but it’s essential to spend some time getting to know your audience. Watch how they behave, listen to the stories they share about themselves and pay close attention to the words they whisper under their breath. It’s to our detriment to assume that everyone thinks, acts and feels like we do. Those who are too trusting will get burned and those who are too jaded will harm innocent bystanders.
That said, I’d still like to make my friend an offer he couldn’t refuse. Maybe that’s what triggered this whole sequence of events in the first place. I guess Me, myself and I need to have a sit down.
Not Speaking Up Can Kill You: A University of Michigan study found that women who suppressed their anger had twice the risk of dying from a heart attack, stroke or cancer. That said, it’s best to calmly share your feelings as angry outbursts raises the risk of dying by a heart attack 19% in both genders, according to a study in London. Impatience, irritability and general moodiness damage health, too.
Falling in Love Is Healthy: A University of Pavia study found that falling helps restore the nervous system and improves memory by triggering the growth of new brain cells.
The Love Drug: When you’re falling in love, your brain releases the same amount of Dopamine as it would had you snorted cocaine! On the contrary, a break-up can have the same effects on the brain as drug withdrawal. Ouch.
The More Sex, The Tighter The Bond: Thanks to the release of the bonding hormone, Oxytocin, couples who sleep together tend to stay together longer. Cuddling releases a small amount and larger amounts are produced by orgasm.
Crying Clears Hormones: Dr. William Frey compared emotional tears to those caused by onions and found that those brought about by emotions contained high levels of stress hormones. He concluded holding back tears leaves the body prone to a number of ailments including, anxiety, a weakened immune system, impaired memory and even digestive problems.
I am so fortunate to have such wonderful, wise and honest friends. Sometimes they say things that instinct tells me some of you can relate to and benefit from. When that happens, I make a note to share. Here is a recent exchange between myself and Stefan Pinto, who many of you know as my beloved little ”Che”.
Che: “I think you have reverse superficiality.”
Me: “What does that mean?”
Che: “You see the beauty in others when there is none. That whole ‘glass is always full of something’ rubbish. I agree with some semblence of it; the glass is full of air and like most people, I call that ‘sh**”.”
Me: Wow.
Che: “You are idealistic, and although not a crime, or a sin, you believe people want to be rescued. Come what may, ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina’ and all of that; you’re a little wounded beauty.”
Me: “You know, I adore you.”
Che: “You should. Oops, that just slipped out.”
* Note: I do like the idea of slaying dragons and coming to people’s rescue. Perhaps that’s why I am aching to take up fencing.
Sometimes we are so blinded by our desire to see greatness in small men that we lose sight of where we are being led.
Sweet talk is only sweet when backed up by respectful actions. Otherwise it’s called “lies”.
There is really no such thing as a “waste of time” only choices to spend time enjoying things that move us forward, keep us where we are, or pull us backwards.
Who you are to yourself is one thing. Who you are to others is based upon their perception of you. Yell at them and you’re a bully. Lie to them and you’re a liar. Show kindness, respect and love to them and you’re a friend.
It all comes down to perspective. The glass is always full of something be it liquid or air. My friend, Landon, said this to me yesterday and it made perfect sense.
There is no happiness without pain. No hope without disillusionment. No love without hate. The universe has a system of checks and balances that none can avoid.
There is a karmic navigation system that is under our control. Where we go, who we have in our lives and what we achieve is all based on our efforts, and the way we treat others and ourselves.
There is a goodness and kindness that permeates the world, though many work quite hard to prove otherwise.
It often takes more than a long look in the mirror to get a true glimpse of ourselves.
Compassion + Communication = Understanding.
I’m not so sure I’d announce this to the world. Would you?
I’m talking, of course, about the condition, not the offer.
The choir in heaven just got itself one hell of a lead singer.
