Walking Barefoot Content © 2005-2010 All rights reserved (Quarter Life Crisis, 2001)

Try the “Tango” station on Pandora (Harry Mancini, Billy Ray, Less Brown, Jungle drums by Ray Anthony)…it’s like being in a fabulous 1950’s movie!

Is nothing compared to what lies ahead.

Stay focused.

The sunshine in your smile warms all of those who get to bask in your glow.

The melody of your voice brings comfort to those who get to listen to your words.

The peace of mind that you offer brings a feeling of understanding to those who need it most.

The kindness you extend wraps its arms around the tense hearts of others and allows them to relax into an accepted state.

You offer the world so much when you are your happiest, healthiest, kindest self.

Don’t forget to remember this often.

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The fog is lifting & the sky is blue; suddenly the sunshine finds its way into my psyche and breaks the clouds that darkened my outlook.

At the end of a recent event, I invited attendees to send in random questions to answer on one of blogs or in one of my columns.  Here are a few I thought would be fun to answer on Walking Barefoot:

 Why is Love So Terrifying?

A. Because when you love, you hand over the most vulnerable parts of yourself to another person, close your eyes and hope for the best.

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What are three ways to identify a guy who is a “Player”?

A.  

1. He comes on too strong, too charming, too fast.  If he’s too slick, he won’t stick (around)

2. He loves the night life; if you don’t see him during the day in “real life” it’s not going anywhere (except to bed)

3. Things don’t add up.  If you start feeling something’s “off”, it likely is.

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What Do Men Look For in a Girlfriend/Wife?

A. Different people look for different things but most men and women are looking for someone  who is emotionally stable and mature to love them, respect them, encourage them, stand by them, stand on their own two feet and make the effort to attract and please them instead of simply falling into a rut together.

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What Are The Biggest Mistakes Men/Women  make on a first date?

A.

Men: Being arrogant, not paying for the date, not dressing for the occasion, being late, and being rude to others.

Women: Not offering to pay for themselves, being rude, sharing too much information, not saying “thank you”, getting drunk and sleeping with the man.

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What’s The Biggest Mistake Single Men and Women Make?

A. Placing their lives on hold until they meet someone to share it with and linking their self worth to their relationship status.

The life you live is your own,

the choices you make are ones you own,

the way you treat those around you will leave a lasting imprint on the lives of others,

and your very being here creates a ripple effect that will be experienced for generations to come.

What you do matters,

what you feel and say carries significance,

even if it makes very little sense.

Is beautiful.

Shower your loved ones with a bit more love?

Find the comedy in each situation?

Smile at strangers?

Write down a list of reasons you can succeed?

Accept yourself for who you are?

Know that you can change most anything you don’t like?

Love with great abandon, and if it doesn’t work out, love again?

Drop the baggage and run into a lighter future?

Be appreciative for what you have?

Know that you have something amazing to offer?

Reach out more often?

Give compliments, support, encouragement, hope and kindness like you can’t give it away fast enough?

Whisper “I love you” to those people you loved who have passed on?  I believe they can hear us

Be yourself.

That what you thought was right was not right for you at all.

That’s OK, it just means you’ve grown a bit.

That life is nothing more but a seemingly endless series of chances to love, laugh and learn.

What’s done is done, it can never be changed.

What’s undone can still be done.

What you must do might change quite often.

Be flexible.

Be open.

Be accepting (of yourself and others).

And, for goodness sakes, find reasons to be happy–they’re waiting to be found.

 The Academy Awards show is something I look forward to every year and have since before I knew what an “Academy” was.  The gowns, speeches and general fun of the show has always been thrilling for me and I tend to watch it alone or with another person who promises to stay as quiet as a mouse while the show is on.  Last year, I broke my rule and attended a lovely party thrown by my friend, Michelle, only to frustrate everyone with my “shhh’ing”.  They forgave me but I wound up with the nickname “The Oscar Nazi.”

What can I say?  I love me a good speech

 If you’re as into the show as I am, you will love these photos of stars on Oscar night that were taken throughout the years.

Enjoy (and Go Maggie)!

You all know I adore Madonna so how could I resist checking out her trainer’s new DVD set?  I couldn’t.  Tracey Anderson’s Mat Workout is really great.  There are a bunch of videos on youtube where you can snag some tips and view a few clips before you purchase anything.  The dance workout might be too much for those who have never taken a dance class or who stink at it (like me).  But her tips have totally transformed my figure in a short amount of time (and it would do better if my diet didn’t involve pasta, burgers and pizza so often).  Anyway,  I thought I would share how much I am enjoying putting her routine to the test.

P.S.  Her main goal is to keep women “really small and toned” so she encourages women not to use weights larger than 3 lbs.  I use 5 and it’s fine.

In this era of work (or working to find work) and worry, there isn’t often much time to sit back and truly think about about the life we have lived and what we would like to do with the rest of our days here on Earth, but taking a 10-20 minute break to contemplate the meaning of our lives can actually make our lives more meaningful.

A Few Ways to Reflect:

Sit in a quiet place: Turn off the television and  move away from the sounds of people, television, radio and traffic.  Get away from your computer.

Stretch: It’s hard to relax when our muscles are tense

Sip a soothing beverage: Peppermint and chamomile tea  both aid in relaxation.

Inhale Deeply, Exhale slowly.  Inhale for 3-5 counts and hold your breath for 5 counts.  Exhale for 3-5 counts.

Write thoughts down: Don’t worry about “making sense” just write down what’s on your mind when you think about your life and your purpose.  What words come to mind?  What images?  Skim your notes a couple of hours later and see what impression you get.

Try to Understand: Judging yourself will lead to stressful feelings (which will make you less eager to reflect in the future).  Approach this process with the desire to get to know yourself and redefine your life in different ways.  Be sure to congratulate yourself on the parts of your life and yourself that you are proud of.

“Just because I managed to do a little something, I don’t want anyone back home to think I got the big head.”

Suspicious Minds

Anything That’s Part of You

Trying To Get To You (a favorite)

Polk Salad Annie (I love how he dances Such a great live performer)

My Way (I think he sings this song better than anyone who has ever performed it)

If I Can Dream

The Wonder Of You

Always on My Mind  (Lovely–and notice Elvis’s “Bling” on his wrist)

“”Success is Having To Worry About Every Damn Thing In The World, Except Money.”

Ring of Fire

Folsom Prison Blues

Flushed from the bathroom of your heart

Cocaine Blues

I Walk The Line

A Boy Named Sue

This is pretty cool.  It’s the 1903 film version (the first film version!)  of “Alice in Wonderland“.  The British Film Institute National Archive restored it from its severely damaged condition.

That ending an argument with a few positive words will lower stress-related proteins?  A good way to rebuild your bond and boost your immune system at the same time.

Christian Dior Airbrush Makeup: Pop into your local counter and ask for a trial.  Amazing!

Liquid Vitamin E: I use it as a night moisturizer.  A little greasy but your skin will glow.

Joico K-Pack Conditioner: I had forgotten how good this stuff works (and smells!)  Note: Filenes Basement usually has it for around $11.00

Green Tea: I’ll never say it tastes great but I love the benefits (and if you open the used bag and exfoliate your face with the grounds and let them sit for 3-5 minutes, your skin will glow).  A little messy, yes, but it’s 1.00 vs a 20.00 green tea cream and it works.  Another idea, mix it with honey and leave a masque on for 5 min (your skin will look even better as honey is a toner and it has never caused me a breakout).

 The “Jennifer Lopez” station on Pandora:  Beyonce, Pink, Kylie, Mariah, Shakira…shall I go on, gals?  I usually listen to it when I clean.

Bacon Chedder Burgers: I seem to have a once-a-week addiction these days.

Kat Williams:  He is so not my style, and normally I would be a little turned off by this type of humor, but I find him so funny.  His “find more haters for yourself” joke won me over, I guess.

Long bi-Weekly Phone Conversations with My Best Friend:  He’s the greatest and we like to laugh in real-time so emails won’t cut it.

What Have You Enjoyed Recently?

It’s just too late to do anything about it.

This music video is so heartbreaking.  The song is in Spanish and “lloro Por Ti” means “I Cry for You”.  Watch the video and you’ll understand it even if you don’t speak the language.

creates your world and impacts the lives of others.

Don’t forget.

Changing a bad habit is tough but it can be done with a little courage and committment.

If Someone is Out of Control: Don’t waste time trying to control them, simply remove yourself from their chaos.

If You’re Always Putting Things Off: Don’t Put On Tomorrow’s “To-Do” List what Can Be Done Today.

If Someone Lies To You: Don’t choose to spend the rest of your life playing detective, take your trust and lock it up.

If Disorganization Holds You Back: Start calling yourself out every time you throw something down, avoid writing it down or lose something and give yourself props when you do something that keeps you organized.

If Someone disrespect You: Don’t bit your tongue and stew silently, draw a line right then and there.

Don’t Engage Gossip:  Don’t speak evil, listen to evil or stay around and watch it and you won’t be dragged into social court to prove yourself innocent.

If Someone Doesn’t Do Their Part: Stop giving them a part to play until they are ready to do their share.

If You Dwell on Negative Events: Remember that studies have shown that every time we think about something, we deepen the “path” the event or thought has in our psyche and are more likely to “go there” again in the future.  This is why “dwelling” becomes something that sometimes feels out of our control.  Try to always counteract negative thoughts with two positive ones and focus on ways in which you have moved on, learned something or changed your circumstances.  Letting go is not easy but we cannot move on unless we do.

But there is no one roaming this Earth who is just like you.

You’re one of a kind; embrace it!

Times may be tough but you are tougher.

Whatever you want can be yours as long as you keep moving forward (and don’t forget to have a little fun along the way!)

A Few Questions from My Advice Column in Start Your Business Magazine

I have a co-worker who always feels the need to let my boss and everyone else on the team know about his successes, he also take credit for things that we do together. What should I do? – Jasmine, 28

Dear Jasmine,

Uh oh, it looks as though you are sharing your space with a bona-fide ladder- climber; it’s too bad your head is caught under his heel. While you can’t blame the guy for announcing his successes over the loud speaker (arrogant creep), you can- and should-put an end to his credit-stealing ways and pronto.  Judging from your letter, you’re stewing silently and I am guessing you haven’t told him you’re tired of his thievery (which only encourages more of it, I am afraid) so that’s the first step.    Lose the idea that Mr. Self-Promoter doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing and drop a hint he’s sure to get; flat-out tell him to knock it off.   A simple, “I am really excited to with you on things but I would appreciate it if you would acknowledge that it is a team effort. When you claim ownership of my work and ideas, I feel undervalued. Please don’t do it again” ought to do the trick.   Sure, he’ll get defensive and he’ll look aghast but he’ll know you’re not interested in being bullied any longer.  It won’t be easy, Jasmine, but unless you reach into your emergency supply of courage, you might as well put a “welcome” sign on your forehead.

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How do I look like I am busy at work when my boss hasn’t given me enough to do and would be mad if I was surfing the internet? Michael, 29

  Oh, Michael,

 You’re too old to be doodling in class.  Instead of finding sneaky ways to look at funny videos and gorgeous gams on company time (without being caught), do yourself, your boss and your career a favor by filling your downtime with information that will enhance productivity and your skill-set.  Read up on industry news, practice a program you need to learn better such as Excel, Power Point or finally figure out how to maneuver that ghastly expense report system. Not feeling up to a personal tutorial today?  Ask swamped colleagues if they need a little extra help or simply sit down with your boss and let him or her know you are ready to take on some more responsibility.

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My co-worker expressed to me that although she didn’t feel like I was the right person for the job, she’s glad I’m on the team. Now, every time I have to talk to her about work related issues, I feel a little on edge, like I have to prove myself every time. How should I handle this? Susan, 30

Dear Susan,

Wow, what a complismack she gave you!   Let’s see; your company, boss and you all found this job a perfect fit (hence you’re beating out other candidates through what I am sure was a lengthy interview process, your subsequent offer and acceptance) but little miss passive-aggressive has made the decision you’re not “right” for the job?  That’s why she’s not doing the hiring!   You’ve got two choices, Sue: you can march into miss mouthy’s office and let her know that her comment offended you or you can see it for what it is,  an unimportant observation made by someone who is projecting her own insecurities and perceived failures onto you.   I say you tune out the chattering from the peanut gallery and knock her out with a smile and by doing the amazing job everyone who believed in you knew you could do when they hired you.

Ever wondered why you behave the way you do in relatonships or why you choose who you choose?  This is a very thorough and interesting piece on the topic (which shares ways we can all change for the better).

This little guy is amazing!  He’s FIVE!

Want more?

Visit his site at www.JonahRocks.com

Be Humble:  There is something beautiful about a quiet pride.

Return Emails:  You may be bust and not have any time to respond for a week or two or be of any assistance at all, and if that is the case, taking 30 seconds to a minute and saying that is the best way to handle it–unless you mean to send the message that you absolutely do not want any contact with that person at all.

Be Grateful:  People  do things for us because they are kind enough to do them and not  because we are entitled to their generosity. Not saying “thank you”, demanding more or brushing off their kindness is a great way to burn a bridge and break a heart.

Build Your Character:  When it’s strong, nothing can shake you.  People respect solid foundations.

Give Back: In this time of “Me, Me, Me: Personal Branding” doing something for others can seem like a retro hobby.  Giving back in ways that don’t make it onto your resume is something we all could do more.

Ladies, it is super important that you watch this.